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Sean Connery looks great. I'd totally do him.

[about indiana jones 4] slightly less realistic than a cartoon.

Jew isn't a race, it's a disease.

I burp cute.

Our menu's so good, the pages are stuck together.

I could have really awesome kids with myself.

It's jew christmas.

Every time I toss salad I don't use these [holds up claws]

That's the second gayest thing you've ever said after 'i want to suck your dick.'

You can't put a chick in a big dong competition.

Hey guess what? If you get decapitated, you don't get to compete in jeopardy.

What's the difference between a prosthetic leg and a prosthetic leg?

I like dick, I've just never had any.

You have no idea how often the 'no 4th hole' problem comes up.